It all started with a novel. I’m a bookworm – Christian historical romance admittedly being one of my favorite genres – and I was excited to dive into this new story set in the wild west. The thing about fiction is it easily sucks us into its world. I can zip through books in a matter of days. My mind tends to drift, all too eager to escape into the plot and alternate reality.
I’m learning to exercise self-control with this, because it’s usually not the author or the content that’s bad – most of these novels contain Christian themes and biblical encouragement.
It’s my own heart, my desperately sick heart, that can twist a good, sweet storyline into a floodgate of earthly – instead of heavenly – thoughts.
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9
This particular book, while well-intentioned, hit the soft spots of my flesh. I’m a lover of nature, of frontier, rustic living, and Hallmark-style romances. So when it highlighted all those ideals, my joy in God suddenly faded into a whirlwind of disappointment.
Why?
Feelings of envy, of desiring this fictional world, opened the door to discontentment, which ultimately morphed into idolatry.
That’s a dangerous combination, friend.
The Problem Within
The quiet sin we so often nurture without knowing is covetousness, born out of our heart’s weakness toward what we see and feel. A desire that overpowers our desire for God, and painfully dishonors Him.
Merriam Webster’s definition for covetous is as follows: “1. marked by inordinate desire for wealth or possessions or for another’s possessions. 2. having a craving for possession.”
Both definitions described me.
There’s a reason covetousness is in the 10 commandments – it’s serious. It pulls our eyes and hearts away from One most deserving. It says He is not enough, when He is in every way.
When I saw my home and life didn’t match what I was reading, my heart for devotion began shutting down. For a few pitiful days I lost focus on the love of Christ, on His generous blessings, on the joy to be had in ministry to my family. I became short-tempered, irritable, and impatient with those around me.
Worldly yearnings I had previously overcome by the Spirit for a few days suddenly came back. I forgot the beauty of my Creator, getting lost in what’s created. My eyes kept wandering from heaven down to the fleeting beauties of earth.
I had put my guard down, not fixing my gaze toward who’s of far more beauty – Jesus.
If we’re not actively resisting the devil (1 Peter 5:8-9), putting on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18), and walking by the Spirit (Galatians 5:16), the snowball effect of sin can become an avalanche before we know it.
Sin can snowball into an avalanche, so stand firm in the faith by delighting in Christ and not the world. Click To TweetA Common Temptation
Maybe it’s not a book for you – maybe it’s a TV show, a movie, or an ideal you’ve been clinging to since childhood. Some dream world or idyllic life that briefly brings pleasure to your soul, but in the end brings bitterness.
Why do these kind of dreams trouble us, these cravings obsess us? We’re hungering for something, someONE beyond this world. We’re hungering for the eternal.
Covetousness and discontentment arise when we’ve lost sight of Jesus, the Most High, the Eternal One, the Savior of our souls.
But how infinitely worthy He is of our adoration! NOTHING compares to Him. Compared to Him, everything else is NOTHING.
“My soul, bless the LORD! LORD my God, you are very great; you are clothed with majesty and splendor.” Psalm 104:1
We must believe that, and it blessedly hits us head on when we remember His compassion at the cross, His glorious, perfect love poured out for lowly sinners.
“Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering…
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:4-5
As I share in my Bible study for anxiety, what we fill our minds with – whether darkness or light, earthly or heavenly – can determine the battle in this area, and whether we see His victory. (Matthew 6:22-23)
Also remember this warning from Scripture:
“Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.” 1 John 2:15-17
It’s imperative that we discern and recognize our temptations. If I know this kind of book – as innocent as it appears – leads me into love for the world and distracts me from Christ, I have to cut it off, plain and simple (Matthew 5:29-30).
From Instagram and HGTV to Pinterest and travel magazines, we have to distinguish the fine line between admiring God’s blessings and valuing them higher than Him.
Rather than pining over what’s temporary, let’s always desire to participate in the eternal will of God.
We cannot allow personal ideals to turn into idols. Jesus is better. In Him and His Word we find all we need. Click To TweetThe Hope of Christ
To do away with coveting, we have to consistently be in the Word, in books that exalt Jesus, and in fellowship with other believers at church, because these direct our thinking and our theology – giving us a renewed mind (Romans 12:2). They point us upward.
“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” Colossians 3:1-4
That, my sisters, is the hope that’s ahead – seeing Christ in His glory, and being with Him. That is the forever promise that awaits us, and far surpasses the pleasures of anything on this earth. Christ is our life.
I share all this vulnerably and openly, because the blessed truth is I have been set free from sin in my Lord Jesus.
Before Him, I would have continued to be lost in this unreal world, this fantasy, and let it drive my actions and relationship with God and others. Yet now, by the grace of my Savior and gift of the Holy Spirit, this sin does not have to linger or destroy.
That's one wonder of the Gospel, that sin grips us no longer because Christ has set us free. Click To TweetWe fall into sin, but through humble confession and repentance, Jesus extends His embrace and restores us by His mercy. He continues to cover us in the sight of the Father with His righteousness. As His people we may falter, but no one can snatch us out of His hand (John 10:28-30).
We can always pray: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10
Shame can give way to praise and obedience, and we can walk away wiser than before, sanctified in His sight.
Are you there, my friend? Have you turned to God in your discontentment? If you have trusted in Christ, you do not have to dwell in disappointment or unfulfilled longings. Reverently turn to Him and seek forgiveness. After this it can help to confess to your husband or a close believing friend, so they can help you reset your perspective.
In His infinite grace, Jesus offers abundant, full joy to those who love Him, as we treasure His salvation and glory more and more each day.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” John 10:10-11
In His Love,
Dani
Caroline Kido says
Yes, i had this experience just not long ago, it started just before the new year, 2017-2018. It seemed like everyone was gearing up for the new year with fresh new goals and purposes, it felt like everyone had a whirlwind of opportunities ahead of them… and myself, a housewife in a foreign land for 12 years, i felt like i was being stuck in the house, shut away from society. How i yearned to be part of society, working with others and actually making money, instead of having to ask my husband everytime i wanted something knowing he would likely tell me that the item i wanted wasn’t needed, so having the desire to be independent from my husband’s desires, while enjoying the friendship with coworkers, it was all a big lie. The ideal that is. i fell hard spiritually. I quickly became discontent, unhappy, i clammed up in front of everyone at each service trying to hide my unhappiness, my jealousy, my covetousness…it was horribly dark for me during those days, then i feebishly went to the Lord and said – i’m wrong, surely i’m wrong. He lifted me up and since then i feel very humbled, not easy, but feeling feeble and humble. Who am i, to do and say and decide what i should do? How ashamed i am of myself. But praise be to our Lord, who paid the price for such sins…chasings of the wind. Now i place my eyes on things i have and give thanks.
Dani Munoz says
Wow Caroline, thank you for sharing your testimony and praise God that He opened your eyes! As the Word says, He gives grace to the humble – and what a blessing that is! We don’t have to be enslaved to our empty desires, but can be free and filled by joy in Christ. Praying you and I continue to hold onto that precious truth, seeing His glory everyday.
Gretchen Fleming says
Well done Dani! I appreciate your honesty and the identification of something that may not be a bad thing but it became a stumbling block nonetheless. I think it helps tremendously learning from others. It opens our eyes to what we may be blind over. I had to give up historical romance novels when I was early in my marriage. I was reading about romance that my husband could not live up to. The more I read, the more I looked over at him and thought I was missing out somehow. I finally recognized the impossible standard I was measuring him by and determined to cease the destructive cycle.
Dani Munoz says
Thanks for reading and sharing, Gretchen! And YES – this is such a stumbling block for women. I’ve been seeing the folly of overdoing romance novels, for those exact reasons. It can become hurtful to our husbands and our walk with God, so we have to be careful.
Christina says
What a real post! It’s posts like these that the Lord uses to set the writer and the reader free. Thank you for sharing!
Dani Munoz says
It is so neat how God uses writing to both minister to the writer and the reader, as you said. I hope this helps many women be set free from envy. Thank you for stopping by, Christina! 🙂
Diane says
Yes, Thank you, I really needed to read that. I guess I really didn’t fully realize what I was doing. I felt down sometimes. Thanks for helping!
Jen says
Great post Dani! It’s not easy to be so transparent and vulnerable with your readers, God is using you in an amazing way. I’m sure there are a great number of people this will resonate with. ????
Dani Munoz says
Thanks for the words of grace, Jen! Your encouragement is a blessing! 🙂
Jessica says
Oh my, thanks you so much for this! I have been so guilty of doing this, longing for a different lifestyle, etc based off of movies and videos I used to watch. My biggest problem was becoming obsessed with “moving far far away” to a huge city. I’m from AL, and I’ve always dreamt of packing everything up and moving to NYC. It was my dream since I was very small. I became obsessed with every thing about NY. I honestly just recently realized how much I had made that such an idol in my life, and it really shook me! I’m so glad the Holy Spirit really worked on and with me about this… incontentness. I believe there are things out there that people don’t even realize are having such a huge impact on them and moving their thoughts/wants/desires away from Christ. We as Christians NEED to understand how crucial it is to get this resolved! This has been very eye-opening and has helped me so much. I know it will others! Keep letting the Holy Spirit guide your writing. It’s reaching every person it’s supposed to. God bless, my friend!
Susan says
Great post Dani! Thank you for being open and honest. I’m pretty positive that covetousness and discontentment are something we ALL deal with. This is a great reminder today!
Dani Munoz says
Oh yes, it is a major struggle for everyone! I hope this brings to light why we need to turn to Him when we fall into it. Thanks for visiting, Susan!
Henry says
This is real in my family life where we have focused much more on prophecies than God’s will – thanks for sharing.
Tyra says
What advice would you give a girl child who does not feel like she does not belongs to her family and feels like a disgrace to her family and does not have the strength to pray anymore…
And thank you very much.
Dani Munoz says
Tyra, there is so much I could say, but here’s one core truth to hold onto – if you place your faith in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, you’re fully forgiven and completely new. You are in God’s family, the most important one of all. You are His, and He will never fail you or forsake you. I don’t know your situation, but if there is any advice I could give it would be to trust and rest in God’s love in Jesus, and to offer love however you can to your family or those around you. If you feel like a disgrace, you have to turn to Jesus. The truth is ALL of us, me, you, every human, has failed in some way or another. But Jesus, through His sacrifice makes us righteous and enables us to live for God. He can restore you. Even if your family rejects you, He won’t. Keep praying, and you will see answers from Him in Scripture and by being with His people in church. Commit your way to Him, and He will use you for His glory and for your good. <3
Tyra says
I just want to say you have really inspired me as a teenager. Its really rare to find a someone who is really in the Lord and not in the earthly world. You have really touched my heart and I greatly appreciate it. Thank you so much.
Emily says
Dani, this is such a delightful post pointing us back to the only one who can satisfy – Jesus! I loved that you included the dictionary definition of covetness. Sometimes I think it’s only if I wish I had things others had – justifying my desire for earthly things “if it’s not because others have it.” This is a convicting and powerful post!
Nicole Mouchka says
This really hits home with me, Dani. It’s so easy to be thrown off course by little things that cause discontent and covetousness. Thanking God that when we walk close to Him, the Holy Spirit prompts us to take a step back, reel it in and realize what’s really important. If it doesn’t matter in eternity, it really doesn’t matter. Thanks for sharing!
Caroline of LilyMags.com says
This is a big one for me. I’ve always been a daydreamer, but a lot of times this pulls my eyes off of Jesus. I definitely have to guard myself against the temptation.
Katrina says
I am printing this to read often! My marriage has been on the rocks for over 8 years, I am struggling with my three kids, our finances are horrific, we do not have a church connection. Everything feels like a battle & I am so broken. Until about a month ago, I listened to podcasts for hours a day (while driving, showering, playing with my baby) on parenting & marriage just trying to glean wisdom. I realized I was disappointed that nothing ever improves, even though I am checking off all of the boxes the podcasters, the books etc say to do. I realized I had to change my mindset & that my heart has to be truly rooted in God’s love for me. I have to fix me, root in His truth instead of the podcasts & books. They are not bad, just not good for me in this state right now.
Heather says
I have so been there! I actually had to stop reading novels for a season while I worked on my heart. So much better now.
Lea says
I’m so glad I came across this soul saving article. You have no idea how much of a blessing you have been right at this moment. This is like an spiritual alarm. All of the sudden I feel awake. God sure ministered my life through this message. Thanks so much! May God continue to use you in his kingdom. Sincerely Lea
Lavina says
Blessed are you in Spirit of the Lord.
Robin says
I left romance novels in my single past. And I understand the point you made as it applies to so many areas of my life. It’s really sneaky isn’t it! Thank you for the conviction. My question is – can you recommend good Christian historical fiction authors? There was that one exception – Francine Rivers’ Redeeming Love.
Sandy says
Bless you.This has really touched a chord in me and have me asking God’s forgiveness.May God bless you and continue to write for Him.This has truly opened my eyes.I just love to go on Pinterest and gaze and daydream about the lovely gardens ,houses and even the food and wish for things like these but thank God for what He has shown you the dangers in these things.I pray that God will open our eyes and give us a spirit of gratitude for His good gifts that He has already bestowed upon us.
Dani Munoz says
Hi Sandy! Praise God this blessed you. While we can appreciate the beauty God has created in the world, it must never override our love for Him, the Creator and Savior of our souls. I’m seeking to walk in gratitude for Him right with you! Blessings!
Rose Lee says
Thank you for this message. This is what exactly I needed now. Seeing my friends went for a travel here and there made me feel envious. I turned away to social media but I realised I kept coming back checking their accounts. After reading this, I felt better. Now, I’m ready to share few words in our bible study. Dani, I hope you don’t mind if I might use some of your words. It really lifted me up. I should focus my eyes only to God knowing He’s there is enough.
Thank you in advance. May God always bless you and give the desires of your heart.
Keep sharing good thoughts!
Sister in Christ,
Rose
Dorothy says
Thank you Dani for the heart searching article on covetousness and discontentment. It helps me realise how the idols we have in our lives sidetrack us from completely surrendering our lives to God. This calls for true soul searching and honest repentance. We need special deliverance from God even as me make efforts to actively rid our lives from worldly junk. With the power of the holy spirit in our lives we can get on track and pursue a holy life once again.
Saying i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Mariki says
Thank you for this article! I realise more and more that we have to fix our eyes on the things above and the promises and guidance of the One who is trustworthy and unfailing. I pray that God will be my joy and peace in this life where nothing and nobody else is infallible. May God bless you and our sisters everywhere!
Amber says
This is a wonderful lesson. Thank you for sharing it. I remember when I first moved out from my parents on my own. I was so excited to have my own place. I immediately wanted to decorate and make it “mine”. I became so distracted with the love of decorating that the Lord convicted my heart one morning on the way to work and showed me how I had taken my eyes and heart away from Him and placed them on earthly things. Not that decorating and enjoying your home is wrong, but when it became what consumed the mind, it removed Him from being #1. It’s a tricky spot. You explained it so very well. God Bless!
Maria says
I know there are already plenty of comments but I must tell you that: I feel so understood. I’ve been struggeling with exactly these kind of things (discontentment, secretly having desires that are not glorifying Jesus, following my heart rather than my spirit,…) & I was wondering if I’m the only one perceiving trials like this. So as I was just reading through your post, I knew this was so clearly God’s voice speaking to me that I could not stop the tears from rolling down my face. Every single line and Scripture fit perfectly as an answer to any thought and question I had.
Thank you so much for being that tool in the Lord’s hands, using what you have to point others (back) to Christ…!! <3
Cathy says
Wow! All I can say is thank you for sharing this. I clicked on Pinterest and there it was. You have described my issue to a T! My husband and I answered the call of the Lord to move from Alabama to Florida where my husband grew up. God has done miraculous things since we have been here. In the last month I have grown disconnected and have felt like I have been caged. We are living in a camper and I homeschool our three children. We only have one vehicle and I have been feeling stuck and abandoned. I have started getting irritated at my husband because he comes home tired and wants to rest while we have been stuck here. It has been getting harder for me to get into His presence lately, my mind is racing about so much stuff. When I read this post it made complete sense to me what is happening to me! My desire to go and do things or to shop is consuming my every thought. Anything that exalts itself above God is idolatry! I do not want to be consumed by anything but Him! Thank you for opening my eyes!
Rebecca Jones says
Very interesting how such an idea can allow our joy to be taken.
Chioma says
Thank you, I didn’t know what was the root cause of discontentment. Now I know covetousness. Thank you
Alicia says
Amen sister! It’s so easy to slip into this way. Psalm 51:10 is one of my favorites and I recite it often. Thank you for sharing your heart so honest and openly.
Alicia
Pamela says
I too have been in that exact place, where fiction ( good & clean) consumed me and I felt I was living in an alternate world. But the Lord opened my eyes & yes I am fighting it even now but there’s victory. I love to read and therefore made it a passion to study and memorise the word. Thank you for the encouragement that I received to fix my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfector of my faith.